Fabulous Ones vs. Moondogs (CWA - 6/13/1983)

Yep, easy second.

A total riot. There was no slow build here, none of the Fabs' usual entrance with the bow ties and tuxedos, high-fiving fans as 'Everybody Wants You' blared through the Mid-South Coliseum. They stormed the ring while the lights were still off and for the next ten minutes these guys tried to murder each other. I had this at #15 on the Memphis set, but as a match it barely goes two minutes. As soon as the bell rings it's carnage, then two minutes later Jerry Calhoun gets hit with a chair and a plank of wood and the match is thrown out. I guess everything after that is technically the post-match. Still, like your concession stand brawls and empty arena fights it was included on the set as a match, it was ranked as a match, and so it's only fair I judge it as a match. I don't make the rules. But yeah, it's mayhem from start to finish. Everybody gigs and gets assaulted with bits of furniture, including Calhoun who is walloped about a dozen times by everybody involved. He keeps trying to interject and ends up getting smacked with a chair or stabbed with a table leg. I don't think I've ever seen a match make better use of a table, in fact. Nobody took a bump through it, instead it got hurled in the ring early and from there everybody kept coming back to rip a piece off and use it as a weapon. At one point a Moondog just dropped the full thing on Steve Keirn's back, and you know it sucked because it was clearly one of those bulky fuckers that weighed a ton. Like the mahogany dining table your granny had, just dropped clean on top of someone. Randy Hales was furiously ringing that big bell to try and stop the madness and Steve Keirn grabbed it like "mate will you shut the fuck up with that?" and bonked a Moondog in the head with it. Lane diving off the apron onto a Moondog's back was amazing, perhaps only slightly topped by Keirn trying to gouge an eye out with a splintered 4x4. Memphis did these out of control alley fights better than anybody and this was right out the top drawer.

A short match called off for brawling that has lots of brawling to follow in the aftermath. Lots of blood and outside objects including tables. Good clean fun. The greatness of the match depends on whether you consider the bell-to-bell portion or the whole segment. Either way, a great way for me to spend my Sunday morning.