Andre the Giant vs Hulk Hogan (WWF - 3/21/81)

Fourth


"It's legalised murder!" Kal Rudman is such a pervert for the bloodletting. Any time this Spectrum crowd were treated to a glimpse of the plasma you could guarantee Rudman was for losing his mind along with each and every bloodthirsty maniac in attendance. Although this was a glorious 10 minutes so it's hard not to get swept up in our man Kal's ZEAL. Even grizzled referee Dick Woehrle decided to just sit on the top turnbuckle and let these two go at it, to hell with trying to enforce anything. They put over Andre's headbutt right from the start as Hogan wants exactly no part of it, bolting to the floor and asking Woehrle to do something about something. Woehrle merely shrugs, perched upon the turnbuckle, as any of us mere mortals would. Andre literally smothers Hogan with the bearhug and Andre really does have one of the very best bearhugs ever. Hogan's revenge bearhug may look even better as he actually picks Andre up and holds him in the air! Andre is so gigantic that he can break the hold by just wrapping his hands around Hogan's head and it looks like he's legit trying to rip that head from neck. Hogan then fuckin bodyslams him and Andre taking a bodyslam will never look anything shy of incredible. Maybe this was the bodyslam that tore every muscle in Hogan's back and neck and arse? It looked superhuman either way. Andre is amazing at selling the cumulation of damage, sort of lunging at Hogan's leg and grabbing it to buy some time while he's being clubbed across the back, eventually taking Hogan down with a single-leg and wrapping that leg up so Hogan can't press any advantage. From there Andre shifts to actually working the leg for a minute, first with the killer jumping elbow across the knee, then twisting and pulling at the leg. Hogan has a tree trunk for a leg and yet the size difference makes it look like Andre's just trying to remove the bone from a slab of meat. I think I've watched maybe one non-Hulkamania era Hogan match in the last eight years, so seeing him load up his elbow pad was some alternate reality stuff. Everything after it was amazing. First Andre whips him into the ropes and when Hogan dodges the big boot you're thinking he's clobbering Andre on the rebound, except Andre blocks the clothesline and grabs Hogan's arm like he's a panda bear with a stick of bamboo. Andre nails another one of those headbutts, steals the elbow pad for himself and fucking clotheslines Hogan in the face! Hogan is a bloody mess immediately and Rudman is fully stripped to the waist on commentary. "IT'S A MASS OF BLOOD!" Never have you heard a man so full of glee. Andre clubbers Hogan in the head while the crowd and Rudman lose their full marbles, then Hogan catches Andre with a boot and goes for another slam only to get squashed like a bug. Just a wonderful spectacle in front of a nuclear crowd. Post-match Hogan tries to jump Andre so Andre clotheslines him in the face again and I don't think Rudman had one stitch of clothing left on his person, the gruesome deviant. I think their Wrestlemania 3 match is pretty much perfect in its own right, but this has to be the best Hogan/Andre match ever.